How I lost my peace of mind

As I started to grow up, I have been more aware of the society and the surrounding that I am living in. And before that I was merely a child not giving a heed to what is happening to people’s humanity. But these days, since it is becoming more and rarer in human race- I was caught up with an incident.

 I was coming back from my university and noticed that a van of police was parked beside the road to my house. And the police were busy checking people. Now this was a common scene now-a-days. I ignored the fact and continued toward my house with a friend of mine. A little later, I heard noises behind me. When I looked back I saw a man running and a policeman chasing him with a black bag in his hand. The man looked healthy and middle-aged belonging from a middle class family. The police was yelling to catch him but no one proceeded really until an old man tried to. But the running man was pleading not to catch him. I could hear him clearly saying, “No please, don’t catch me. Please.” My mind calculated fast enough, visualizing the man as a wrong doer and since the police was chasing him- my first reaction was to have him stopped. I guess my friend was also having similar thoughts. He asked me whether he should stop him or not.

I said, yes. And he did.

We didn’t wait until the police arrested him and took him toward the van and walked toward my house. And all my mind was doing was replaying the whole scene again and again. The way he was running and pleading not to catch him, his face after my friend stopped him. And all I could feel was my decision being wrong.

We are well aware of the little reputation the police have in our society, some action that they pull against civil rights- they are not completely honest. What if the running man was innocent and he ran because he got scared that he couldn’t afford to pay the police the bribe that they might demand, and I took him as a wrong doer and got him caught. What if he is in jail and getting beaten up by police because he refused to sign the papers of false allegations? What if his family can’t afford his bail money? Did I ruin his future, his home and his family life? He must have kids waiting for him at home.

But why would he run if he was not a wrong doer? My point being made, he wouldn’t be in this position if he weren’t any wrong doer. But he must have been helpless and chose this path because he had to look after his wife and children and his old mother. Or perhaps marry his sister well off. My point being made is that he did wrong to lead a better life. Why was he forced to choose this path? Is it his lack of humanity or the lack of proper citizen facilities? In some way or the other someone’s humanity surely is limp. Either it is of a man in duty or of governed citizens.

And the spot I am standing at, I am not sure what I did was right or wrong or if it will haunt me when I wake up in every tomorrow, how my humanity will take this. But I surely know that it won’t give me any peace of mind.