Generally, I find it hard to put together my scattered thoughts. Most of the time, I remain disoriented, disrupting concentration, ultimately resulting in being unable to write anything.
I guess, today is different. Today, all my thoughts are making a stop at this one station on repeat.
It was a year of joy. It was a year of sorrow. I lost some gems. I found more. I lost hope, dreams shattered, doors closed. I searched for new doors, aesthetic dreams, cheerful hopes. I dropped last droplets of vengeance and forgave. I widen my view toward self-acceptance while drowning in self-loath. I heaved a sigh in frustration when thorns pierced my soul. I grieved as the last of my aspiration ruptured loudly. I went on a trip to peace with my mind, to peace with my 2016. I came back home realizing people can never be as generous as nature. I am selfish, I am self-centered, I can care less about people- I can be everything dark and loathful. But that's all of us. We are flawed, I am flawed. And if we can go past the grievance, loathing and vengeance- we can be a part of a better world. For a person like me, it is very much possible for everyone to get hurt. Because I never got past the image I made for myself. It has contaminated to my conscience at the point, it's not possible to overcome them without hurting way too many people. It is genuinely not anyone's fault but mine that I stand alone every time I look back. It has always been me. 2016 was anything but never inevitable.
